Encouraging The Stress-Free Homeschool Day

As you know, our family is part of University-model classical, Christian school that we co-founded. That means, we do school from home every other weekday. I recently had the opportunity to share with our families 10 tips that help me to have a more stress-free homeschool day.

There is no magic formula, perfect system, or simple solution to the challenges we face when teaching and working with our children, but these simple tips that I’m sharing over at The Better Mom today just might make a small difference in your homeschooling. I welcome you to join me there today!

A Sponge Or A Stone

Sometimes teaching my children feels like skipping through a field of daisies, and sometimes it feels like trudging through murky swamp waters or worse…quicksand. At the start of the school year, many of us feel encouraged and ready to tackle another year of schooling. Glossy new textbooks and freshly sharpened pencils inspire and excite, but the honest truth is, we lose much of the inspiration in teaching and parenting with a tough day of bad attitudes, lengthy assignments, and other stresses of everyday life.

We are formula-loving people. It’d be so convenient if we could follow a checklist with which we can ensure success in training up our children. Sometimes we spend the majority of our time researching logistical how-to’s and collecting tools, but fail to consider that the vessel through which we are training our children is OURSELVES. Our kids our learning through us.

A good day for us is when there are lots of smiles and laughter, all work is completed in a timely fashion, and I feel affirmed as a mom and teacher to my kids. But, realistically, many days look more like chaos with little ones underfoot, tears + math worksheets, and me feeling insecure and doubtful that I am cut out for the job.

Since we can’t prevent difficulties in parenting and teaching, it’s not how to avoid them, but how to MEET the challenges you will face as a parent and teacher this school year that will make all the difference.

I am a metaphor person, so let me share this with you in this way:

We often choose to parent like STONES: hard, polished, smooth, and oftentimes inflexible and unwavering as a parent. We set the bar high and stick to the schedule. We work hard not to be vulnerable to our surroundings and the stresses of the day, believing our primary job is to stand our ground and hold down the fort. We often chose to be cold and task-oriented, striving to be all business with our children so as to be efficient and non-superfluous. Sometimes we cause hurt when we wielded our authority with force. And when the pressures of life closed in, we break or chip in rough and jagged ways.

But, here’s the thing I’ve been reflecting on again and again. I often quote Luke 6:45 to my children, but fail to hear it for myself:

The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.

We parent out of the overflow of our hearts. Whatever fills us up will spill out.

So instead of a stone, perhaps a sponge possesses more the qualities I need to have as a parent and teacher to my children.

A SPONGE is…

• soft and gentle
• absorbent and always seeking to be filled
• maleable and vulnerable to it’s surroundings
• not a tool/weapon but a vessle
• it’s purpose is to transfer and to gather and pass on
• when there’s pressure, or the squeeze, it overflows with what’s inside

What kind of parent are you? What kind of parent are you under pressure?

Are you a stone? One that is unyielding and harsh? Standing your ground and heavy in your delivery of discipline and instruction? Or are you a sponge? One that is filled up so as to spill out with the grace that you yourself have received?

You see, it is not how polished we are, how smooth we deliver our lessons, or how firm we stand upon our expectations for our children, that will cause us to succeed as parents. We will be most effective as parents when we train and teach our children out of the overflow of our lives lived unto Christ.

So that begs the question…What are you most filled with as a parent as evidenced by what spills over? What overflows from your life when the squeeze or the pressures of life wring you out?

Is it patience, humility, gentleness, joy, and dependence on the Lord?
Or do you, like me, often overflow with anger, anxiety, perfectionism, expectations, self-sufficiency, and pride?

Our only hope is to be filled with the good news of the Gospel if we are to overflow with fruit of the Spirit.

So, as we begin this school year, are you focusing on the methods and procedures that will get your children to obey? or will you consider Luke 6:45 as it effects YOUR heart as a parent?

This school year will not be measured by how many facts and figures your child learns. It will not be measured by their grades, your teacher’s comments, or even how obedient your children are. It won’t be measured by how clean your house is or how early you complete all your coursework. Friends…none of those things will be the measure of your worth as a parent because the Lord looks on the heart:

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” -1 Samuel 16:7

In those times of discouragement and pressure this year, resist the temptation to pity yourself or offer a stone when your children ask for bread. Instead, go to our great God for the filling up to do this GREAT task. Be filled up by, with, and through him, that you may be poured out FOR Him. He will enable you to do all that he has called you to.

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Linking up in community…

Welcome to GraceLaced Mondays, a link up dedicated to sharing any and all blog posts by like-minded lovers of grace–God’s grace! Grace is found in the everyday when you are intentional about taking note of it…and I invite you to share your story, great or small, of how everyday moments are full of Grace.

*Link back to GraceLaced –so your readers can find us here– by copying and pasting the code below into the html page of your post. (Make sure you scroll down and copy the entire code, thanks!)

*Please link up your post, not your blog’s home address.

*Enter the name of your blog post, not your own name.

*Visit the other links and leave a comment–everyone loves comment love!

*Add your link anytime this week!

An InLinkz Link-up

http://static.inlinkz.com/cs2.js?v=003

 

Storytime with Brother

Whenever I’m tempted to feel discouraged on a homeschool day, moments like this remind me that it’s not merely in the textbooks and worksheets that a love for learning takes root. It reminds me that my success in educating my kids today doesn’t rest with what was accomplished but what is obtained. The sound of one child reading to another is the sweet melody of secret adventures only siblings can know. A priceless yield indeed.

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.”

― Dr. Seuss, I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!

Would You Be Nervous For Someone To Observe Your Homeschooling Day?

A dear new friend asked to come observe one of my homeschool days, since she too schools several older children with toddlers and infants at her feet.

I will be honest; I was a little more than anxious about it.

I know what my home days are like. (You may remember, we are part of a Classical UMS school, so the kids are at home every other day…) I know how loud the crying can get, how chaotic it can feel, how destroyed my house ends up looking, how frazzled I can be, how much disciplining I may have to do, how impatient I often feel, how disorganized I wish I wasn’t, and how discouraged some days can leave me…

…And my friend wanted to come observe my homeschool day.

I was fully aware that she knows loud. She knows correction and discipline. She knows disorganization. She knows mess. She has seven kids under 11…she knows.

But, there’s something about inviting another into your own messy, imperfect, frustrating, noisy, challenging world that can be a homeschool day. The home day prior to her coming was one of those days. It proved LONG and arduous, with shedding of tears by most, and hours of of clean up following. How would she possibly benefit from seeing how not well I do it all?

But God moves in mysterious ways. He is always at work in our weaknesses to show His great faithfulness.

Simply put, here’s what I learned:

1) We should always train our children as if someone was observing us. Because, Someone always is.

While there is no way we could’ve “faked” a compellingly easy homeschool day, we did experience a smoother, more encouraging day of school. Here are some reasons why:

• I got dressed in real clothes–as for a job–and showed up to my day of homeschooling, treating the work ahead with great value.
• I spoke clearly and directly to my children, and lowered my voice. I focused on edifying speech, and threw out the wasted words of complaining.
• I proactively encouraged.
• I didn’t check email or complete housework. My kids had my full attention.

It is not that these are all uncommon at a home day, but that the intentionality of all of it combined is no where near what it was with a visitor.

2) Our imperfect chaos, shortcomings, and striving for excellence IS encouraging to others.

Instead of cubicles and orderly checklists, my friend observed an organic family structure at the kitchen table, taking turns with mom, taking turns playing with the baby, taking turns stretching the limbs of the mind in the ebb and flow of a self-paced school day. She graciously shared that seeing my infant scatter toys throughout the house was beautiful. That all the messiness of my life was encouraging. Amen to God making loveliness of all that we want to sweep under the rug.

Praise God we are meant to live in community– as mothers, as homeschooling families, as Christians.

Transparency and honest hospitality may be the very vessel in which God encourages another while transforming your pride in humbling sanctification. So, go ahead…you have nothing to be afraid of, nothing to hide.

Family Mission Statement For Back To School

We don’t have it stenciled on our kitchen wall, or framed sweetly for all to see. It’s not memorized or talked of regularly, but it’s there when we need it. It’s at the ready when we, as a family, experience discouragement in teaching and training our kids. The tool I speak of is a Mission Statement:

“Think of a Mission statement as a GPS. Most of us would not attempt to start a business, launch an organization, or embark on an adventure without some defined purpose or clear direction of where you are headed. It’s not wise to enter into choppy waters without a compass! In the same way, the back-to-school family needs to have unified purpose and goals for the school year.”

Want to read the one our family wrote? Come join me at The Better Mom today, as I share the why and how of writing a back to school mission statement.

I’m so blessed that you’re here! I invite you to subscribe to GraceLaced!

Is There An Ideal Homeschooling Parent? {Part 2}

Every year I have an opportunity to address the parents of our school with a talk about parenting and co-teaching in our University-model school. Burdened to dispel any misconceptions that might hinder a parent from being the most effective co-teaching parent in the home, I formed my talk around 3 possible misconceptions and 3 qualities that will help a parent thrive in the homeschooling environment. This was not a how-to session as much as an indicative-informing-the-imperative overview. I share parts of it here, as I trust that you will be encouraged as a parent or a homeschooler…and as the primary influence in your child’s life.

If you missed the 3 possible misconceptions, please read Is There An Ideal Homeschooling Parent? Part 1.

The Ideal Homeschool Parent?

What the “Ideal” Homeschooling parent IS…

1. The “ideal” homeschooling parent is purposed with conviction and mission.

There is no doubt about it, you will experience discouragement, weariness, and sometimes an outright second-guessing of your decision to educate your child. It has been said: “Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossible before they were done.” There will indeed be times this year when you may feel that it is IMPOSSIBLE to be your child’s teacher.

May I encourage you with something practical that our family does? Troy and I really believe in Mission Statements. To write one as a family is to bring your family’s purpose into sharp focus, a focus that can be lost in the midst of discouragement and challenges. A written mission statement based on what is True and Worthy can be a powerful tool for re-alignment when our hearts deceive us and we are tempted to give up. It helps us remember WHY we are doing what we’re doing, and WHAT are priorities really are.

(Be sure to come back on Saturday to hear more about Family Mission Statements, and to read our own family’s version!)

2. The “ideal” homeschooling parent is a lead worshiper.

It was the Classical teacher’s chief aim to embody the truths he was teaching his pupil. If our desire as parents is to see our children become worshipers of Christ, we must be their example of what it is to walk with our Savior.

What would your children say is characteristic of a life in Christ? Would they say it is marked with joy? Do they observe that it is one of trust in the midst of trials? Would they describe it as the ONLY means of LIFE? Most importantly, would they recognize that sorrow over sin is comforted only in the sufficiency of Christ’s blood?

Our kids will learn many many facts, subjects, and skills this school year, but will they learn about their deep need for Christ and His redeeming love through your example? Worship and love for Christ and his Word is not simply taught; it’s CAUGHT as well. In the same way I encourage myself, I pray that we as mothers and fathers will be the example of life-long learning in the gloriousness of Christ. That our worship of Him would do what no textbook could ever accomplish.

3. The “ideal” homeschooling parent is diligent to train, with or without immediate results. 

While it may seem obvious, it must be said: Parenting IS our job. Breaking up fights, correcting, disciplining, teaching them to clean their rooms, and cleaning up messes are NOT inconvenient tasks simply because your kids are interrupting your agenda. THEY ARE THE AGENDA. Not in a our-kids-are-at-the-center-of-everything kind of way, but in that the goal is not to simply get through with parenting as quickly as possible so that, in their perfection, they will require no work from you at all.

Results, in any worthy endeavor, are rarely immediate. In parenting, it is truly designed that way! God gave you children as infants that grow up to become young adults in your home because it takes that long to train them. The sooner we shift our mindset in this area, the more free we will be to embrace our roles as moms and dads.

The goal of teaching your child at home, is not necessarily to “arrive” at some point of EASE and EFFORTLESSNESS in schooling. Hear me for what I mean: Yes, it will get more manageable as your routine firms up. Yes, it will get easier as your children learn to obey your authority as teacher………But that CAN’T be our focus as co-teachers. It IS OUR JOB to teach and train them repeatedly, even when it feels unrewarded, even when we are tempted to think there are other things more worthy of our time.

AND FINALLY…..

I will simply point out the obvious answer to the question: WHO IS THE IDEAL HOMESCHOOLING PARENT?

The answer, in my opinion is this:

The ideal homeschooling parent is the parent that knows he or she is IMPERFECT and NOT IDEAL to the core, and only capable of answering the call to such a worthy task as this, through the daily sanctifying work of Christ!

I hope these excerpts from my talk to the parents of our school has served to encourage you in whatever role you are currently playing in training and teaching your child.

“God’s callings are his enablings.” -Charles Spurgeon        

I’m so blessed that you’re here! I invite you to subscribe to GraceLaced!

Is There An Ideal Homeschooling Parent? {Part 1}

Every year I have an opportunity to address the parents of our school with a talk about parenting and co-teaching in our University-model school. Burdened to dispel any misconceptions that might hinder a parent from being the most effective co-teaching parent in the home, I formed my talk around 3 possible misconceptions and 3 qualities that will help a parent thrive in the homeschooling environment. This was not a how-to session as much as an indicative-informing-the-imperative overview. I share parts of it here, as I trust that you will be encouraged as a parent or a homeschooler…and as the primary influence in your child’s life.

Is there an ideal homeschooling parent?

What The Ideal Parent IS NOT….

1. The ideal homeschooling parent is not necessarily gifted at homeschooling or a natural at teaching.

One of the big misconceptions in education may be that those who choose to educate their kids at home are either naturally good at it, have more patience than other parents, or have extra time on their hands. This is simply not true. Those of us who choose to take a deliberate role in the education of our children do so out of conviction, not convenience. Do not buy into the lie that you are not equipped to be your child’s teacher. Or the thought that you don’t have the right disposition for it. You are qualified to be your child’s teacher, simply because God has entrusted you to be his/her parent. There is no one more fit to train, discipline, disciple, mold, love, encourage, correct, model, and inspire…than you, the parent. And as for disposition? Educating your child may be the very vehicle through which God chooses to mold YOU into the parent he desires you to be. See it through this lens, and your school year will be very different than what it would be otherwise.

2. The ideal homeschooling parent is not always seen with well-behaved children.

You may have heard it said that indicatives always inform the imperatives, which is to say, our beliefs reflect our methods. If we believe that our greatest goal is to have well-behaved children, we will use any means of shame, scolding, punishment, or threatening to achieve our goal. We may achieve our goal…but lose their hearts. Instead, if we recognize that a child acts and speaks out of the overflow of his heart as it says in Luke 6, we will use God’s word to instruct and correct the hearts of our children, continually drawing them to the greatest need in their lives. Teaching our children MUST include correction and discipline. It is never simply academic. However, when it is the heart we are after, then teaching our children at home becomes the perfect opportunity for such a privileged pursuit.

What we believe about what they ultimately need will determine how we go about parenting. So, fret not if your child is a work in progress. He should be! As should you and I! Let’s not seek to present simply well-behaved children, but apply ourselves to the work of leading our children’s hearts to the throne of God.

3. The ideal homeschooling parent does not need to be educated in theology.

Most of us were raised in a generation and culture that saw the local church as the primary means of teaching our children spiritual truths. Many of us grew up in families that never worshiped together unless at church, and by worship, I mean getting to church, and splitting up to into all separate departments. As with the first misconception, we must recognize that we are, as parents, absolutely qualified to teach our children the Word of God. In fact, we are commanded to in Deuteronomy 4:6…

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

All our pursuits in educating our children are in vain if we fail to lead them to the worthiest subject of study: The Lord himself. Catechism questions, assignments that wrestle with attributes of God, and the like, should inspire you to dig deeper into the Word of God with your children. Sometimes, those will be the absolute most precious moments of your homeschooling day. A theology degree is not necessary to teach your children the truth of God’s Word; an obedient trust in its authority IS!

Join me tomorrow for Part 2, as I counter these three misconceptions with three qualities that will help a parent THRIVE and not just SURVIVE teaching and training her children at home!

I’m so blessed that you’re here! I invite you to subscribe to GraceLaced!

Rest and …

…relaxation. It’s everyone’s summer goal, right? This summer, R & R is “Rest and Renewal” at our house.
Don’t get me wrong– we are making every effort to lay low and take it easy, but our focus and motivation is different; it’s to press on, not to retreat. There is truly a difference:

 Renewal’s emphasis is improving, striving, recharging, remembering

Relaxing’s emphasis is letting go, clearing out, releasing, forgetting

Do you want to know how to make your summer a time that renews and recharges your family? a time that rewards hard work with renewed vision and not with laziness?

Please join me at The Better Mom today to refocus your R & R this summer!

Morning Hair and Lima Bean

If you can get past the fact that I didn’t brush my hair before doing this video, we’ve got a few minutes of our homeschooling to share with you:
(if you can’t see the video from your feed, please visit the website to view! Thanks!)

Are you getting geared up for gardening? What will you be growing this year?

The 7 Laws of Teaching

We are all teachers. Some of us have classrooms. Some of us have five yr. olds who want to learn to tie their shoelaces. Whether you are teaching Shakespeare or basic math facts, there are seven simple things to keep in mind.

The Seven Laws of Teaching
by John Milton Gregory

Law 1: The Law of the Teacher

A teacher must be one who KNOWS the lesson or truth to be taught.
(You’ve gotta know your stuff.)

Law 2: The Law of the Learner

A learner is one who ATTENDS with interest to the lesson given.
(You have to have their attention.)

Law 3: The Law of the Language

The language used as a MEDIUM between teacher and learner must be COMMON to both.
(Use common language.)

Law 4: The Law of the Lesson

The lesson to be learned must be explicable in the terms of truth already known by the learner- the UNKNOWN must be explained by the KNOWN.
(Go from known to unknown.)

Law 5: The Law of the Teaching Process

Teaching is AROUSING and USING the pupil’s mind to form in it a desired conception or thought.
(Make it active and interesting.)

Law 6: The Law of the Learning Process

Learning is THINKING into one’s own UNDERSTANDING the new idea or truth.
(Put it in your own words.)

Law 7: The Law of Review

The test and proof of teaching–the finishing and fastening process must be a RE-VIEWING, RE-THINING, RE-KNOWING, and RE-PRODUCING of the knowledge taught.”
(Review, review, review!)